The nature of peace...

Peace is a lie, there is only passion...

...or so I have practiced for the past twenty some years.

Perhaps those words ring true. Perhaps I should listen more to the teachings of the Sith, and not lean onto my own judgment.

Palpatine would have never once questioned himself...why did I? How will I ever rise to my full potential in the Force if I continue in this manner?

...because she has Padme's face...Padme's eyes...

Because she has the naïve want for peace which a young man born forty years back on Tatooine had and hoped for...a spectre of my past which I know all too well.

Because, despite her serene appearance, inside, she has the fiery temperament of myself, Darth Vader...despite her every attempt to conceal it, she wrestles with the notion that she's more Vader's daughter than Anakin Skywalker's...

Ironically, she has yet to realize that the subject of her hatred is the source of her strength. Ironic for her...heartwrenching for me.

My thoughts often drift back to that night on Coruscant where I sensed through the Force that Padme would bear a daughter. Sensed her, felt her...wept for her when I thought that in my rage at Padme, I had destroyed her...

And then finding Luke all those years later...the shock of his discovery, how he rang out to me through the Force! I had a son! In my joy, I forgot the child I thought I had...attributed it to my frequently blurred visions...only to find again that I was right.

The horror of what I've done to her and to her husband eats at my soul like a flame. I bear it along with the atrocities I've committed towards my son, my long dead wife, and towards countless others. Yet, in that same sense, the euphoria in the revelation that I have a daughter is enough to make it bearable...

I have a daughter. And, just as with Luke, I would do anything in my power to have her in turn accept me as her father.

I attempted to grant her the peace she wanted last night in my proposal for a treaty between the Rebellion and the Alliance. There at last, was her offer on the table...all she needed to end the war was her signature...I had signed already. Her men would go free, her Alliance would go unharmed...together, we could attempt to put things right, once and for all...

...and she refused.

What's more, she elected not to put two capable and loyal men, two men who served her admirably, ahead of her own selfish desires.

As a commanding officer, I run my fleet with a tight fist. If an officer is at fault, he will likely pay for the infraction with his life...but in the same sense, I am quick to reward those loyal to our cause, and I am humbled by any who demonstrate loyalty to me in any regard. Those closest to me know that I can even be forgiving, if the situation and the merit of the officer itself warrants it so...

And yet, here were two loyal and admirable men...men who had not broken during the interrogation, despite the methods my Grand Admiral employed...courageous men. And they were but a speck in the light of her dreams of the Rebellion.

I question the nature of peace...it is foreign to me, yet coveted. I have seen it corrupted by the Jedi, by my master, by countless others. Peace to me has become artificial. A beautiful idea, but nothing more.

I will remain among the rational...