Five wishes...

So, I'm reading these parenting books, now that I'm Darth Daddy all over again to a five year old.

One of the books said "When your child is born, write down five wishes for him/her by the time he/she is grown."

I wish I knew from the start that Luke and Leia were alive. I would have happily written down five wishes for both of them. I'm very certain that "member of Rebel Alliance" and "Traitor" would not have been on that list. No offense, Leia. ;) You did make up for it with your most impressive career in the Senate.

So...five wishes for Cesera:

1. May you choose your friends wisely and may those you choose be loyal to you in all walks of life.

2. May you never lose any of your limbs or the use of your lungs...I hope you never have to go through even a second of your life in a suit like mine.

3. May you grow up to be a strong, wise Sith Lord, and bring peace to the galaxy.

4. May you find someone in your life who loves you completely, and who you love in return.

5. May you never lose sight of the Force.

Alright. Daddy duties done. Now I'm off to go interrogate some Rebels. Maybe in fifteen years, Cesera will have a Force choke twice as good as mine. (grin)

Darth Daddy?

Where to start, where to start...So, @Lady_Everon and I renewed our vows and had this amazing honeymoon on Byss and then Delaya, and things were all going so well. Indeed things were...most impressive.



But then...NO, my saber DID NOT malfunction.

I began to have these flashbacks...repetitive visions and nightmares bad enough to the point in which I began to have seizures. I didn't think much of it at all at first, but then Rebecca began to have the same visions.

Many sleepless nights ensued. You begin to get this washed out look after the first five days.




I couldn't make anything of my visions at all. A child in pain? My kids are grown.

Then I met *her*...




A child of five years, imprisoned by my own master, until she escaped. Upon further investigation, I determined that she was not a child, but a clone. A hybrid clone containing both mine and Rebecca's DNA, designed as a cruel solution to end my reign as Palpatine's apprentice, by my master himself.

She is now my daughter. Her name is Cesera.

I must confess, I'm new at this "dad from the start" thing, considering that both the twins were grown before I found out I was their father. Cesera is five. What does one do with a five year old? Oh, Force, I hope I don't accidentally break her. Perhaps she's more durable than one Padme Amidala.

I wonder how she'll turn out. She seems a little dark...stealing mommy's pancakes, "Force manipulating" daddy for more cake with that unrefusable smile of hers...

Perhaps she's more like me than I know.

The nature of peace...

Peace is a lie, there is only passion...

...or so I have practiced for the past twenty some years.

Perhaps those words ring true. Perhaps I should listen more to the teachings of the Sith, and not lean onto my own judgment.

Palpatine would have never once questioned himself...why did I? How will I ever rise to my full potential in the Force if I continue in this manner?

...because she has Padme's face...Padme's eyes...

Because she has the naïve want for peace which a young man born forty years back on Tatooine had and hoped for...a spectre of my past which I know all too well.

Because, despite her serene appearance, inside, she has the fiery temperament of myself, Darth Vader...despite her every attempt to conceal it, she wrestles with the notion that she's more Vader's daughter than Anakin Skywalker's...

Ironically, she has yet to realize that the subject of her hatred is the source of her strength. Ironic for her...heartwrenching for me.

My thoughts often drift back to that night on Coruscant where I sensed through the Force that Padme would bear a daughter. Sensed her, felt her...wept for her when I thought that in my rage at Padme, I had destroyed her...

And then finding Luke all those years later...the shock of his discovery, how he rang out to me through the Force! I had a son! In my joy, I forgot the child I thought I had...attributed it to my frequently blurred visions...only to find again that I was right.

The horror of what I've done to her and to her husband eats at my soul like a flame. I bear it along with the atrocities I've committed towards my son, my long dead wife, and towards countless others. Yet, in that same sense, the euphoria in the revelation that I have a daughter is enough to make it bearable...

I have a daughter. And, just as with Luke, I would do anything in my power to have her in turn accept me as her father.

I attempted to grant her the peace she wanted last night in my proposal for a treaty between the Rebellion and the Alliance. There at last, was her offer on the table...all she needed to end the war was her signature...I had signed already. Her men would go free, her Alliance would go unharmed...together, we could attempt to put things right, once and for all...

...and she refused.

What's more, she elected not to put two capable and loyal men, two men who served her admirably, ahead of her own selfish desires.

As a commanding officer, I run my fleet with a tight fist. If an officer is at fault, he will likely pay for the infraction with his life...but in the same sense, I am quick to reward those loyal to our cause, and I am humbled by any who demonstrate loyalty to me in any regard. Those closest to me know that I can even be forgiving, if the situation and the merit of the officer itself warrants it so...

And yet, here were two loyal and admirable men...men who had not broken during the interrogation, despite the methods my Grand Admiral employed...courageous men. And they were but a speck in the light of her dreams of the Rebellion.

I question the nature of peace...it is foreign to me, yet coveted. I have seen it corrupted by the Jedi, by my master, by countless others. Peace to me has become artificial. A beautiful idea, but nothing more.

I will remain among the rational...

Master of the dark side, but not of the paperwork...

When I signed up for this job, I was down with all the dark side had to offer. Let's face it. I rock a black cape. My Force choke brings all the boys to the yard. I can lead a purge and party like it's 1999 all over again.

One thing I can't do and will never be able to manage is paperwork.


Somehow, my being a Dark Lord means I'm a glorified paper pusher...now I know when I signed up as apprentice, I'd be dealing with everything good ol' Palps didn't want, but this is ridiculous. I went to JEDI SCHOOL. How the kriff am I supposed to ace at mathematics? I'm sorry, but a few simple equations to help my TIE streak across deep space is all I know. Death Star budget cuts? Tax restrictions? What's that?!


They say sanity is the first thing to go. I can understand that now.

-DV

An OOC RP PSA...aboard an SSD manufactured by BMW. ;)

As most of you are well aware, the majority of us are currently involved with the Yuuzhan Vong storyline. From some earlier tweets I've decided there are a few points I need to address/clarify:

1. JUMP IN. I'd like this story to involve as many of us as possible, and I purposely brainstormed something that would get everyone working together RP wise. It's just more fun that way. If you still haven't jumped in but would like to, please do so. I love seeing what everyone brings to the table!

2. Please realize that apart from a general outline i.e. (Vader captured, Vader escapes, Empire crushes the Vong) I'm not so sure where our storyline is going, myself. I wait for someone to tweet and feed off of that. I kind of like the unknown element b/c I never know quite what to expect.

3. In regards to #2, I would LOVE if you guys could jump in with some ideas for what you'd like to see happen. Use the comment section of this blog to contribute. We can turn it into some sort of "mini-forum" to discuss this and future storylines. I'd love that.

4. If you're not a part of the SW Verse but you've been watching our storyline unfold, we still welcome your ideas and encourage you to join.

5. Much love to everyone here...even if they're part of the Rebel Alliance and/or a traitor... ;)

-DV

Ah, kriff...

Yes, it's that time of year again. Valentine's Day. What a pain in my cybernetic ass. What did I do to deserve this? It's almost as bad as that wretched time of the year known as Father's Day, where I've learned cards like THIS will be the norm from my children from now until my funeral pyre at Endor.



But Valentine's Day...holidays based on love aren't quite compatible with those who've elected to pursue a Sith lifestyle. I mean "Peace is a lie, there is only passion" fulfills the passion requirement, but love? One *can* love, but, THIS? This holiday, one is expected to cut out little hearts and watch romantic holos and even speak in that hideous lovey language. I won't even go into that.



Problem is, I have someone who's counting on me, and I have no idea what in blazes to do. Imagine...Darth Vader gets the girl, and then fails to deliver the one day of the year where it actually counts. I do a fantastic job all 364 other days...why does it have to be this blasted other day that stands out from the rest?

Relax, Vader. In with the good mechanized breath, out with the bad.

Valentine's Day is just another day...

Yeah. I've said that till I'm blue in the face. Actually, more like pasty-white, but we won't go into that. And don't needle me with, "How grotesque, Lord Vader?" I look just fine!!

What to get Brisard...what to get Brisard...

All I can think of that she might need is a hydrospanner. So I bought one.



So I got this hydrospanner and a cake fashioned to be an exact replica of our wedding cake. But that's all I have. A glorified wrench and a cake.

Here's hoping the Force is with me...

PSA: PLEASE READ

PSA: To all members of the SW twitterverse and all outsiders who interact with us:

As you all well know, there have been many changes in our verse as of late, and none of them good.

I aim to address as many of the issues at hand as best I can and turn it over to each of you for a solution, as this matter is now well beyond my control.

While I am flattered and humbled that so many of you have come to me looking for answers, help, direction, etc, I must also remind you that I'm really not the group leader. We don't have one. Personally, I feel that's a good thing. That being said, please don't take this as a "never come to me with your problems" thing, because that isn't why I'm posting this here. I'm just trying to say that there's only so much I can address at a given time. Lately, it's gotten beyond my grasp.

If you have personal issues with another member of our verse, please take it up respectfully with that person in dm's. I would be happy to moderate if needed, as would other members of our verse.

This leads me to another point altogether:

I try my best to be impartial in the verse. I love each of you, and I want nothing more than to help you all interact and help new people to integrate. Please don't ask me or others to take sides, unfollow, block, etc. a given character at anytime.

Also? The hate in this verse has GOT to stop. If you have a problem, dm, or call someone in to moderate.

Public slams both on the feed, formspring, etc., from ALL PARTIES need to cease as well. We're acquiring more haters, and quickly earning the reputation of becoming cliquish and elitists. I'm sick of it.

Go back to one @The_Tycho. I can't tell you how much sleep I've actually lost over what happened with him. If I could go back and change what was said on my part, I would. Was he annoying? Yes. He was also 14 years old.

If someone annoys you, simply unfollow. Don't give a reason unless they ask you, and if at all possible, make your answer simple and polite.

Your Dark Lord isn't unfollowing anyone unless they seriously start something that gets out of control. Unless you can give me a timestamp of an @reply with "Rot in hell you bastard" etc, and I can tell without a shadow of a doubt that it's OOC, because let's face it, that last quote is totally IC for Leia and Luke if they said it to me, I'm not going to slam, unfollow, block, etc.

Don't get problems with other characters if they don't block/unfollow the same characters you want them to unfollow, and on the other end of the spectrum, don't get upset if a character unfollows you. It's happened to everyone. Just move on. This is twitter.


Let's talk RP: If someone is in a serious storyline and you see a lot of stuff going on, best not to interrupt/interject with anything unless you're interjecting something of importance. An OOC comment here and there is fine, but don't make someone who's trying to assault a planet/etc have an entire convo if you see he/she is busy. If you're from outside the verse, try and see if the person you're about to tweet is insanely busy or not before you hit them up with an @reply.

Over the past four days I have sacrificed school, sleep, meals, etc. trying to help mend the differences in our RPG community. @leiaorganasolo has taken time away from work to do the same, and for any effort on my part, she has more than likely doubled it on hers.

While we're happy to help out, please remember that we can't always make these sacrifices. We're all adults here...I'm hoping we can all approach our problems and work them out as adults. Childish bickering needs to come to an abrupt halt. We came here to play, not to fight. The only fights we need to have are in character ones and part of a storyline.

On a more personal note, I love playing with each and every one of you here. It has, however become difficult for me to navigate through 8-10 timelines (which at any given time of the day I'm in), and it's also hard for my followers and the people I tweet here to follow. If you see you can jump into one of the stories I already have going instead of starting another, it'd be a big help. The four of you who have storylines with me as wives we might need to start looking at going for different stories on a day to day basis.

Please keep in mind that nothing in the above PSA is intended to come across harsh, these are merely issues that we need to address so that things won't get out of hand. If each of you can assist in some way, the verse should run like a well-maintained Italian sports car. I hear they're like podracers, so I'm all for it. ;)

Thanks,

DV

Wakeup call...

Alright, galaxy. This one is a PSA on how not to direct message your Dark Lord on twitter.

I follow a bunch of people. I also tweet with lots too.

The relationships we have in the verse are not real. Any love scenes you see in the verse are either 1. For character storyline or 2. For comic relief.

Our dm's are all in regards to storyline or RL (many of us are RL friends as well here.)

That being said, here are some of the most shocking dm's I have ever received. None of these are from verse members, but all the same, I choose to air them anonymously.

(Please excuse the language/content. This is not your Dark Lord writing the following.)

Now you know all the truth, tell me do I have a chance with you my lord? Some say I look alike like natalie portman... and I'm a pretty desirable brunette with a lack of chance with almost all Star Wars true fans



*climbs on top and straddles you* Are you a bad bad Sith today? *snickers*

You know what? I wanna make love to you, with/out armor you're in every single fantasy of mine my lord #confessions

I want you to pound me like a jackhammer. *blushes deeply and giggles* *Bites lip* I want you so bad Lord Vader, please don't push me away.

fuck me on the kitchen,fuck me on the fridge,fuck me on your TIE or even fuck me on ur Emperor's seat sexy mad lord

*takes off her bra and her medium sized breasts are shown to Lord Vader* She blushes even deeper.

-groans- please me my love - do it, make passionate love to me, do bad things with me, eat me, kiss me, fuck me -kisses deep-


---

In addition to the following (which is like a top ten list for WHAT IN THE HELL?!) I have received pictures, emails, im acct names, and various other propositions.

I tweet as Darth Vader for fun. I might flirt from time to time, and if you have a decent storyline, I might even work you in my RPG, but I'm here because of my love for Star Wars. Not sex.

Furthermore, it's gotten to the point that much of the outside tweeting/flirtations at Vader interfere with my main storylines to the point where I can no longer tweet my group.

Other outsiders have actually been asked to cease, courtesy of one of the members I play my main storyline with, and in return the people in question have both slammed her and unfollowed the SW verse characters. Why do that? Why disrespect the characters that our characters have relationships with and then slam them in the feed, especially given the knowledge that our verse is so tightly knit?

We tweet everyone, and by everyone I mean Star Wars, Star Trek, M*A*S*H, Twilight, Anne Rice, Trueblood, Anime, Film noir characters, fairys, pixies, animals, robots, non-canon characters, RL accts, comic book superheros, historical figures, and Blues Brothers.

We aren't high strung, and we aren't exclusive. We do, however, demand a little respect.

Thanks for your understanding and attention to this situation.

End PSA

-DV

I'm Darth Vader and I have a plant problem...

That's right. Your eyes didn't fool you.

I'm Darth Vader, and I have a plant problem. Or, HAD a plant problem. Kriff if I know anymore.

It all started one night when I went to enjoy some peaceful meditation



with Rebecca, only to find that for some reason, our Marvin Gaye had no effect.

For the first time in my life, my saber malfunctioned.



So, I decided to go to see my psychiatrist, Dr. FleurduMal to see if she could give me any insight, because this has never been a problem for me.

When I got there, I found Obi-Wan had already scheduled an appointment...the doctor told me I'd have to wait! I know she's a good doctor and all, but honestly, doesn't anybody in this entire blasted galaxy have any idea of WHO I AM? Darth Vader doesn't make appointments. So, I "altered" the appointment and Obi-Wan and I were stuck in this joint session. Didn't matter so much at first because I needed to work through these problems, but then I realized Kenobi was hearing EVERYTHING I had to say. Anyway, I got some good dirt on him from that session, so if he blackmails me, I go public on his ass.

So, while I was at the Doctor's office, I noticed she had this amazing plant specimen on her desk. I asked her what it was, and she told me it was a Rhododendron.

I think Rhododendron is synonymous with SEXIEST. PLANT. EVER.



Anyway, so I swiped the plant from her office, because unlike her session, I was actually getting worked up over this plant. Figured I could just tote it around with me all my days and presto! No more saber malfunctions. Ever.

So, I take the plant back with me and this fairy propositions me. Told her I wasn't interested and returned my attentions back to the plant.

Woke up the next morning to the sound of Brisard's Corellian cackle. Apparently, this was all some little trick of hers and she sprayed the plant with her own perfume just so I'd be attracted to it.



Gotta say. Worked like a charm.

Anyways, long story short, we made up, had a wonderful night, courtesy of Mr. Marvin Gaye, and here I am now.

So, why do I still feel so bad?

If I'd have just taken time to think...to be considerate, Brisard wouldn't have to have perfumed plants and stashed them around my ship.

Expanding on that subject, if I'd have been thinking, I'd have left my master to die, and embraced the galaxy with my son, instead of pushing him away.

I'd own up to the fact that I'm a monster in Leia's eyes instead of expressing my discontent at her when she pushes me away.

I love my children and I love my wife, but for some reason, I fear connection. I fear connection because it opens those I love to my darkness, and for as much control as I have over the Force, I fear that I'd still end up hurting those I care for. I connect with Brisard, yet I cause her more hurt than she has ever known. I don't wish to cause her pain, yet I can't control my emotions when the darkness claims me.

How could I put my children through that?

Maybe I should buy Luke and Leia a nice home...their own planet. Something to show I care, and in a peaceful place, far from my reach.

As for Aria, she is determined to see this through, even if it means her death. She won't allow me to send her away...won't allow me to see to her safety.

Luke is trying to restore our bond...

Leia is hinting at wanting to know her father...

My entire kriffing family is nuts.

Love does that.

Can't they understand that I'm so bad the ghosts of former Sith Lords pop up in my quarters to say, "Dude? You killed younglings? Whoa, you ARE evil."

That settles it. Dr. FleurduMal is taking on the whole family. I'm going to call and schedule a group session. If I've got a problem with hate, they have a problem with love. Hopefully our good doctor will have a solution that can help us to become a true family.

I hope...

Losing my religion...and quite possibly, my Empire...

Blast, but it's been stressful lately for your Dark Lord...rogue jedi, engagements, my daughter gone to meditate with that blasted smuggler, and...a fleet threatening the security of my Empire.

I am concerned that this new fleet is the product of all my fears combined...I am certain that these warships are the fleet of the Yuuzhan Vong. They've come to try and stake their claim on my galaxy.

Their ships are like nothing we've seen on our radar before. Honestly, why can't we have those little folks in the flying cube like our friends from the alternate galaxy?

Nice design...(albeit they ripped off our Death Star...how far did those intercepted plans go?!)



And they look kind of friendly...



But, do my probe droids return and tell me they've found a Borg fleet in my galaxy?!



Of course not...Instead, this is what they find...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLz342GFRG4

Which leads me to the following...

What kind of people are the Yuuzhan Vong, anyways?

Casting call...

I love the diversity of the twitterverse, and I love how we RP with anyone and everyone.

But...I'd love to have a few more characters in our pocket.

Casting call:

Don't have:
Admiral Piett
Admiral Ozzel
Wrenga Jixton
Mon Mothma
Bail & Breha Organa
Greedo
Oola
Darth Malak
Count Dooku (b/c his typist left)
Xizor (same)
Moff Jerjerrod

Have them, but they should tweet more often:
Jabba the Hutt
Boba Fett
Lando Calrissian
Yoda


I'm just listing some main characters, but there are thousands more that need to make an apperance in our verse. I think this might be a good place to do so.

MTFBWY, (unless you are part of the Rebel Alliance and a TRAITOR!)

DV

(We have a Darth__Sidious if the typist returns)

All we are saying, is give tweeps a chance...

OK, so here goes. First straight, no satire post from yours truly.

Lemme start by saying I HATE rude tweeps. I'd be the first person to come to someone's rescue if a rude tweep attacked, and I've done so in the past. My track record should show that.

Now I'll level with you. I don't know what to think of SelinaCat2010 or CaptainStarwind.

In my opinion, while they have said things in the public tweetfeed that have angered the good people of the twitterverse, I don't know how to tweet them. I blocked SelinaCat last night for her continued harrassment of Becky, but I couldn't help but wonder whether or not we could have talked her down and turned her into a decent tweep.

I don't expect any of you to agree with me, but I do ask that you see where I'm coming from. I signed onto twitter initially as Aria's counterpart, with the warning that by doing so, I would be hounded by people who wanted us gone. She had been told to leave the twitterverse her first week there. I was banned from twitter about three weeks into the game, not to mention some of the hate dm's and tweets I'd get from these people under different accts.

Do I follow the people who attacked us? NO. Would I try and make them leave twitter, or the SW twitterverse? No, because even though I really hated what they did to me and my friend, I realize now that if I tried that and succeeded, I'd be doing the very same thing they did to me.

These remarks were made to Aria and I when we were new tweeps. SelinaCat2010 and CaptainStarwind seem like newbies too.

Honestly, I think SelinaCat is absolutely crazy, and why she can't see that the "Mean Girls" division in the verse was established eons before she tweeted us is beyond me. She'll never sync up with us merely because she cyberstalks folks like Barb, Kit, and Sarah to find out when they're tweeting and goes berserk. You have to approach the verse with some sense of maturity.

As for Captain Starwind, looking back through his tweets, I think he merely lashed out in a poor attempt to try and save face. I can't tell if he has the potential to be a good member of the verse or not yet. It's too early in the game. I don't like the comments he's made, and I don't like that he's offended my friend Kit, but I also know that we're all human, we make mistakes, and how difficult it is to start tweeting the verse for the first time. I doubt if many of you remember me 30,000 tweets ago when I first came here, but I made several. I still do...It's a wonder you put up with me.

I think we're in a bit of a funk right now. We've had so many haters come at us, that we've been forced to put up our shields. It's hard to make friends, be it in real life or over the verse. The verse was made as a refuge for tweeps...a place where everyone belonged, no matter how canon or uncanon they were. I'd hate for other RPers to find us unaccepting, because then the beauty of our verse is lost on them, and we, in turn, get less people to interact with.

Some of the new members are tweeters that I've met as I've increased my follower numbers...people who have tweeted me and joined our verse because they had a desire to meet each of you as well. I hope you'll extend them a welcome as you did me.

Well, there you have it. A full thesis from the guy who normally keeps quiet. I hope I haven't offended anyone by my sermon, but I consider you all my friends, so I chose to speak freely.

MTFBWY, even if you're part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor,

Darth Vader

Darth Vader, poet laureate...

Mood: So Angry I don't even wish to discuss it...
Music: Nocturne in E-flat major - Chopin

You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.

Or, so say the Rolling Stones.

Today my master placed me in a reflective Anger Management seminar. Not anger management to take away one's anger, mind you, but to manage the emotion to get the best results. Pure anger is what I'm striving for here...

So, how come they made me write a blasted poem?! On my "feelings?!"

Here's the result of their little shindig:

Don't ask me how I feel - by Darth Vader

Cold. Menacing...
power lying dormant.
A sleeping dragon.
For now.
I can wait until *he* surfaces...
That wretched scum...out in the wastelands of Tatooine, no doubt.
Lying in wait, goading and taunting me...
Bastard.
KENOBI!!!
You tell me you're my brother...
would my brother shack up with my wife?
Steal my children and turn them against their father?!
Leave me to anguish, and take my weapon to shame me?
Colder. Heartless now...
The dragon comes to the surface.
Rebel Scum.
I'll kill you one by one, until *he* surfaces.
I'll watch with excitement as you gasp for breath
and relish in my new power...
Won't be long now.
KENOBI!!!
I will have my revenge.
Mark my words...

A poem for @Obis_Wand, my "favorite fiend" ;)

Good ol' Papa Palpatine...

Mood: Slightly dampened anger
Music: Carry on my wayward son - Kansas

So the fight with Luke, my wonderously dark son didn't go so well. He didn't like the fact that I found his lack of evilness disturbing. And he really, and I mean REALLY didn't like the fact that I planned on going back to revive my old master.

Then again...neither did I.

Going back to the old jerk's fortress on Byss, I wondered what I was in for this time. Since I'd knocked him out, thrown him into stasis, and killed off one of his clones to try and take the Empire for myself and for my son, I figured in reviving him I was automatically guaranteed that I wouldn't be getting him on one of his "good" days...

Yeah. My ass was grass.

Not that I was afraid or anything, mind you, but hey, when more than half of you is mechanized, you start to see lightning in a whole new horrific sort of way.

To my surprise, the twisted old fool of a man welcomed me with open arms.

"So, my son...you now know the truth...that young Skywalker is not fit to assume reign."

"He is my son and my heir, master...the time wasn't right. The boy can learn."

Even though my son now wishes to kill me, I still don't take well to the thought of someone dissing him. Chalk it up to fatherly pride, I guess. I don't know...

"I can sense your pain, Lord Vader..." the old man sneered...or maybe he was sincere. Heck, everything he says sounds like he's goading me...do we have to keep pretending to be friends? Can't we go back to "something something something dark side?" "Something something something complete?" "Something something something LORD VADER?!?!?!"

To my surprise, Palpatine pulled out an elaborate chain.

"What is that, my master?"

"This belonged to my old master...Darth Plagueis. He used to wear it every day...said it was a Sith talisman. The day I overtook my master, I used this to choke the very life out of him. I keep it...to remember him by. One day, you'll find a way to overtake me...you'll have a memento too."

Huh...Palpatine was either trying to be sincere or was more senile than I thought.

"Thank you, my master. Right now, I'm content just having you back."

And I was. Truth be told, I really missed his laugh...

Vader vs. Vader...

Mood: Comfortably Numb
Music: Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

I like to think that wherever I go, there are always two of me at war with the other. An evil Vader, which is just my everyday self, and then the darker persona you just don't wanna mess with, ever.

Even I'm scared of that guy...but when he turns up, I must say, it *is* a rush.

Still, he always botches up my plans. Take, for instance, one Luke Skywalker. I could have easily calmed the boy down at Bespin...talked some sense into him...turned him to the dark side, but what does my darker persona do? Chops off the kid's hand.

Oh great. Now he's really gonna love his daddy.

I won't trash my dark half too much...I need my anger, so I guess that means that I need him. Truth be told, I still owe him a beer for killing Padme when he did. I needed to move on.

So how did I wind up in a courtroom with my son in a mass one on one lawsuit for the rights to the Galactic Empire? Because he finally saw the conflict between myself and the dragon within.

"The court will proceed with the case of Luke Skywalker, plaintiff, vs. Anakin Skywalker, defendant..."

"THAT NAME NO LONGER HAS ANY MEANING FOR ME!!!"

"Your honor?" Luke spoke, "Just call us both Vader. Otherwise he'll never shut up..."

Sometimes I wish I could just go back to Tatooine and forget "Sith Lord" has been my occupation for some 20 years...

Needless to say, the courtroom scene never really panned out. Luke and I settled for a better alternative. One of us will eventually kill the other. Isn't that what family's all about?

Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man...

Mood: Comfortably numb
Music: Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top

Called away from the fleet today...still doing some preliminary work on the Death Star. What a name. Doesn't sound very inviting, does it? I don't know what Tarkin was thinking when he mentioned paying it off by promoting it as a resort and hiring a lounge singer. For some reason, the song, "Copa Cabana" just doesn't sound like something I'd associate with the term, "technological terror."

Anyway, so I was walking to the hangar to get back to my ship when a shuttle arrived on the Death Star. Out comes this entourage of striking women...the Emperor's entourage. Apparently he was transferring some of his women to what will be our new command center. I really don't see the need, and since my mother was a slave, I abhor such practices, to tell you the truth.

I did, however, stop dead in my tracks when I heard them start whistling as I walked by. I turned my head in disbelief and was met with blushing faces and suppressed giggles.

I was SO going to get it when my master arrived...and of course, he'd never believe that it wasn't my fault...

Guess being overly charred and mostly cybernetic is still hotter than being a wrinkled old crone.

I chuckled at the thought and walked into my shuttle.

"Lordship..." the female voice purred, "How can I serve?"

That's Commander Brisard...she's an officer in my fleet, and we well...sort of have this thing...when we're not trying to kill each other, that is. For some reason, she knows how to read me. I guess even with this mask on, I still have a horrible poker face. Either way, it's nice to have someone who agrees with you that killing Jedi younglings wasn't such a bad thing...try explaining that to Padme Amidala.

"Get us back to the fleet, Brisard." I commanded, sinking back in my chair.

"Yes, Lord Vader. Shall we make up bad names for Tarkin on the way back?"

I smiled. Whoever made the rule that women weren't fit to serve the Empire certainly had no appreciation for humor.

All in all, it had been a good day. I had intimidated Tarkin, been whistled at by the Emperor's consorts, and, by the time I'd return to the safe haven I called star destroyer Devastator, I'd have about 100 new insults for that pathetic excuse for a Grand Moff.

My kingdom for a throat to choke...

Mood: Angry
Music: Ain't talkin bout love - Van Halen

If there's one thing I hate more than Moff Tarkin, it's this damn suit. Today I went for a briefing in the Imperial Palace with some of my subordinates, and problems with the oxygen levels in the respirator made me nearly pass out.

Inwardly, I could hear my master laughing...the smug look on Tarkin's face was all I needed to drive me over the edge.

Knowing I couldn't kill the man, at least not yet, I settled on walking out. My master said nothing, but I'm sure I'll more than pay for it later.

I took my TIE and screamed out towards the sanctity of deep space. The highlight of my day? Some rookie cop tried to flag me down for my disregard to the speed limits on ground level. Can you imagine? Darth Vader gets a speeding ticket?

I have to say that while it peeved me, it did give me a good laugh. I entertained the notion of tearing him to pieces, but settled for showing the man what piloting skills truly were. If he ever got close enough to actually obtain my clearance code, I can only imagine his reaction when he runs it through with intel on Coruscant.

It's soothing here in space...nothing around...the only sound being the constant blare of my stereo...but hey, it's not like I have hearing to protect anymore.

Or sight, or touch, or anything else for that matter...

Wish someone made "Kenobi in a can." Release your anger: Just add water...and a good Force choke.

Sith Lords anonymous...

Hi. My name is Darth Vader and I have a killing problem. That's the first step, right?

This is already getting old. I don't talk to people because I'm not a very "social" person...so why in blazes am I blogging? Quite frankly the evening banquets and days at the Senate I used to endure with one Padme Amidala were horrors that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Politics have never been my thing.

Galactic domination, on the other hand...

But I digress.

I guess this blogging thing isn't so bad. Not like anyone's going to read it...and to tell you the truth, those meetings with Moff Tarkin are a constant thorn in my side. What an arrogant ass. I figure I can use this to vent...if he should ever stumble across my bemused rantings and read them? I figure that's a plus.

So yeah. Guess you can count on me writing more often for sure. Who knows? I might even share a few "trade secrets."